Why Traditional Goal-Setting Never Worked for Me (And What Finally Did)

Why Goal-Setting Felt Impossible (Until I Did This One Thing)

For years, I felt like I should have goals. Big, ambitious, life-changing goals. But every time I sat down to set them, I’d draw a blank.

I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t unmotivated. I wasn’t incapable.

I was just lost in a system that wasn’t built for the way I think.

Every goal-setting method I tried felt like trying to wear someone else’s shoes—too tight, too uncomfortable, and definitely not made for me. The problem? These methods assumed I already knew exactly what I wanted and how to get there.

But I didn’t. And maybe you don’t either.

I needed to start from a different place—not with a goal, but with my why.

Why “Why” Matters More Than the Goal Itself

Most goal-setting systems focus on outcomes: Lose 10 pounds. Make six figures. Write a book.

But if you don’t know why you want those things, they become empty checkboxes. And for a brain that thrives on meaning and personal connection (like mine does), that’s a recipe for failure.

Instead of forcing myself to write down goals that didn’t feel right, I started with one question:

What actually matters to me?

Not what should matter. Not what looks good on paper. Not what other people think is important.

I needed to uncover the deeper reasons behind my desires—the why behind everything I do.

How I Finally Created a System That Works

Once I realized I needed to start with my why, everything changed. Instead of setting rigid goals that felt like a burden, I built a flexible system that helps me stay focused without feeling trapped.

Here’s how you can do the same:

1. Dig Into Your Why

Before setting any goal, take a moment to ask yourself:

• Why do I want this?

• How do I want to feel?

• What excites or energizes me?

• If I never achieved this, would I actually care?

Sometimes, you’ll find that a goal you thought you wanted wasn’t really yours to begin with—it was an expectation you absorbed from somewhere else.

2. Let Your Goals Be Fluid, Not Fixed

I used to think goals had to be rigid, set in stone. But the reality is, life changes. I change. And my goals need to be flexible enough to adapt.

Instead of saying, “I must do X by this date,” I reframe it as:

“I’m exploring this path because it aligns with my values. If I need to adjust, that’s okay.”

This mindset shift has been life-changing.

3. Make Your Planner Work for You (Not the Other Way Around)

Traditional planners overwhelmed me. So many empty boxes, so many rules, so much pressure to make every page look perfect.

That’s why I created my own planner—one that doesn’t force me into a system that isn’t mine. It helps me:

✔ Reflect on my deeper why
✔ Spot patterns in my thoughts, energy, and focus
✔ Track progress without rigid expectations

And here’s a secret: I don’t use every page, and that’s completely okay.

To make it easier, I even created stickers that instantly make my planner look put-together—without the stress of decorating every page from scratch. (Because who has time for that?)

The Biggest Lesson: Start With You

If you’ve struggled with goal-setting, it’s not because you’re lazy or unmotivated. It’s because you haven’t found a system that respects how you think.

Instead of forcing yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit, start with your why. Let it guide you. And let your planner be a tool, not a taskmaster.

You don’t have to change how you think. You just need to create a system that works with your mind, not against it.

That’s the magic of setting intentions from a place of deep personal understanding.

What’s Next?

I’d love to hear from you—
✔ Have you struggled with traditional goal-setting?
✔ What’s one small change you could make to align your goals with your why?

Drop a comment below or share your thoughts—I’d love to support you in this journey!